It's Not About Me

Let's just be honest for a second ok? Sometimes life sucks. Yesterday was one of those days where I was keenly aware of just how broken the world we live in is. No matter what I did nothing was right. Everything anyone said was a personal attack on me. Nobody loved me. In fact everybody hated me and honestly by noon I was ready to sleep the day away.

Lately I've been reading this book called What Did you Expect? by Paul David Tripp. It's actually a book about marriage but it's been challenging me in SO many different areas of my life, sometimes a little more than I like. A few nights ago I was reading about the difference between the kingdom of self and the kingdom of God. Here's what Tripp has to say, "2 Corinthians 5:14-15 reads, For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. The apostle Paul summarizes here what sin does to all of us. Sin turns us in on ourselves. Sin causes us to shrink our focus, motivation, and concern to the size of our own wants, needs, and feelings. Sin causes all of us to be way too self-aware and self-important. Sin causes us to be offended most by offenses against us and to be concerned most for what concerns us. Because of sin, we really do love us, and we have a wonderful plan for our own lives!" Well if that's not a kick in the gut I don't know what is. Shrink my focus to only me? Check. Way too self-important? Check. Offended most by offenses against me? Check. Great, now I know why everybody hates me.

Fortunately that's not how God views things. The apostle Paul says in another one of his letters, Ephesians, "But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved." It is also through his grace that we have been invited into the kingdom of God. A kingdom much larger than anything we could ever create. So when we reach a breaking point and everything around us seems to be going South (like my day yesterday), Tripp says "this is an opportunity to exit the small space of the kingdom of self and to begin to enjoy the beauty and benefits of the kingdom of God." It's a hard piece of advice to accept. Sometimes I act as if my own kingdom has more to offer than his but I do truly want to believe he knows what's best for me. So the next time that pity party strikes I just need to keep saying "It's not about me" and choose to believe in his "great love for us." Because really it's not all about me.