Marvelous Monday
ladies!
Thank you for
letting join you on Friday afternoons. I
am impressed by your spiritual maturity and your deep desire to search our God’s
direction and will for your lives. It is
inspiring to sit with so many young women who are devoted to the Lord.
I wanted to take
this opportunity to share a little about myself because I do not cross paths
enough with you to really get to know you right now. And how timely that Shannon discussed
insecurity, one of my “life” topics!
Growing up, I
lived on a small farm with my parents, a younger brother, a herd of beef cattle,
dogs, and various horses and ponies. On
Sundays and Wednesdays we were in church for Sunday school, youth group and
AWANAS. (Any previous Pals out there?)
On some Wednesday night, after AWANAS, I gave my life to Jesus Christ
while home alone in my bedroom. Being
young and alone when I accepted the great Gift, I questioned my salvation for
years. I would hear an invitation to
accept Christ and in my ear a small ugly voice would say, “Should you go? Did
it really count before? Are you really saved?”
My constant questioning of the surety of my salvation also crept into
other parts of my life. I was not
trusting God. A small foothold I granted
then helped freeze me into inactivity, into non-growth, and into
ineffectiveness.
Insecurity
haunted me everywhere, especially during my high school and college years. Every time I passed people chatting in the
halls, the ‘her” they discussed was me.
Every effort I made was insufficient.
Nothing I had was good “enough”.
My deepest valley happened during veterinary school when my good friends
from undergrad moved on and I was still in Blacksburg, now alone. (I thought.)
--Here is when I
found 2 Timothy 1:7. (For God did
not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and
of self-discipline.)
--Here was when I
began to grab truth and hold so tightly that the fog began to lift. I was beautifully made by Christ, a great
craftsman with a masterpiece. (Ephesians
2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good
works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.)
--But that didn’t
sink in until May 2007 when my daughter was born and my husband fell ill. Yes…of course…at the same time. Here I learned of the strength Christ
provides when we are weak. (2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to
me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me).
--Here I learned
firsthand that He will never leave me or forsake even if someone else would. (Deuteronomy
31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of
them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you
nor forsake you.)
--Here I poured
the last corner of foundation from which a house could be built. (Luke
6:48 He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid
the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck
that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.)
Today I still
face battles, but I want to share with other young women my lessons. If that saves anyone a day of trouble or
doubt then the transparency was worth it.
Overcoming an obstacle like insecurity, or offering forgiveness, or
establishing boundaries, or controlling emotions and our reactions/responses,
or…. None of these are overcome in a
day. No light switch is flicked for a
final change but instead throughout life we reach out daily to the dimmer
switch and make slow “imperfect progress”.
(Than you Lysa Terquerst) But the
most awesome realization is that no matter where I am in a battle my Lord,
Jesus Christ, is with me and with you every step of the way.
Thank you all for
being a blessing in my life, Kristie
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